The irony of Allbirds socks

Before you read, disclosure: I despise Allbirds. They are tasteless and are a perfect allegory for the technology sector’s idea of aesthetics. I can’t for the love of god figure out why folks wear these abominations, the equivalent of shapeless sweatpants in the form of shoes. So now that you know where I stand let’s talk about the Allbirds socks,

In 2014, New Zealand-based Allbirds launched a Kickstarter for its sneakers made out of wool. The called them “Wool Runners.” And their first selling point was “A World First: woolen running shoes specifically designed for sockless wear.” In other words, their main reason to exist. Ironically, the same sockless sneaker company is selling socks. What that tells me is that sneaker sales might be plateauing and the company needs to make new revenue from higher-margin products like socks.

There are better, cheaper options that Allbirds socks. Muji makes great socks for about a third of the price. I highly recommend Mujis. You want to go high end, then buy Falke. But if you are an Allbirds fan, well, I can’t save you from yourself.

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