From my dumb ideas of the year bin – Gora sahib, Andrew lloyd Webber has decided that he needs to recast Bombay Dreams with a white cast in order to make it to Broadway. Oh shit, now a brit with brains smaller than his d**k is going to decide what Americans will find accessible. Yo Andrew, go take a hike for this country is more colorblind (well not truly) than any other place on planet.

Britain’s first all-Asian musical – Bombay Dreams – is to be rewritten with new white characters to make it more “accessible” to American audiences. Lord Lloyd Webber, the producer of the £4.5 million Bollywood extravanganza, believes that the additions to the cast are essential for its transfer to Broadway, where it opens in January.

The characters – two American tourists who explain the mysteries of Bombay life to the audience – have been introduced by Thomas Meehan, the writer of Broadway hits such as The Producers and Hairspray. Mr Meehan has been brought in to help with the revamp in co-operation with Meera Syal, the actress and author who wrote the script for the West End production.

He has also suggested changes to lyrics and dialogue. The Broadway production will include three new songs. The white characters are first-time visitors to Bombay. They will wander in and out of the show interacting with the main characters and “interpreting” the sights, sounds and language of India for Broadway audiences.