A guide to South Asian weddings. Some highlights.

1) People: Lots. There is NO SUCH THING as a ‘small, intimate affair’ when it comes to Asian weddings. Anything less than 300 guests is stingy.

2) Time: Lots of it, a conservative Asian wedding lasts three days, most, a whole lot longer.

3) Henna: For the bride’s hands and feet, applied in intricate designs.

4) Sweets: Lots and lots of sticky ones to be consumed at every opportunity.

5) Smiling: And laughing. Unless you’re the bride, in which case it’s best to look sombre and slightly nervous. Often, the marriage was (and still is) arranged so the usual form was for the bride to look demure and then have a little cry as she bade farewell to her family. This tradition continues today, with 87.5 percent of Asian brides crying when they leave the wedding venue.

I would urge you to read the full piece, as it is quite funny! (Hat-tip, Frank Meehan)