At the end of the classic war movie, Force 10 from Navarone, as explosions go off in the dam and from the outside, it seems nothing has happened and the attempts to blow it up are futile. And then slowly fissures appear and before you know it the dam is breached. For the past few days, the dam of emotions remained intact, but last evening it was breached. Like everyone else on the team, I lost my Gigaom email address.
It is such a small thing in a larger scheme of things, but for some odd reason, that loss ruptured my soul. I don’t know why. I stopped using it a few months ago, accessing the emails perhaps once or twice a week. But it was my address that allowed me to read my RSS feeds. So many of my online accounts were attached to it. My Spotify, my Quip. It was a quintessential part of my life since the late 1990s.
Gigaom didn’t start as a website — it was a domain for me to get my email. It was supposed to be my email address for life. Even when I worked for Forbes or Red Herring or Business 2.0, that email address was my lifeline to the web and others at large. I even gave business cards with just my email, mobile number and Skype ID.
At the peak of my time at Gigaom, I received about 1,500 emails a day. When I had a heart attack, thousands of you emailed at that address — because it was me. I left the company and many more emailed to wish Bon Voyage. My attorney informed me of my citizenship via that email address. A few breakup emails – those came on that email too.
It’s all gone and I am left with a feeling of a loss that can only be summed by this line from Four Weddings and a Funeral.
My working week and my Sunday rest. My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song, I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.